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Whether In Life Or In Love, Kinky Sex Is What We Need To Get In “The Zone” Science & Tech 

Whether In Life Or In Love, Kinky Sex Is What We Need To Get In “The Zone”

For the most part, people keep matters that take place in the bedroom all hushed up. When it comes to kinky activities, there are usually two sorts: people who are extremely open about it and people who never talk about it. Anything in the nature of a sexual kink was considered a disorder. But now, with more people experimenting in the bedroom, and with novels that are extremely explicit (like 50 shades of grey) bedroom talk has made its way to the dining table as well. With studies now proving that a little BDSM (An overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism) is a good thing, will society’s outlook on the matter change as well?

Kinky Sex – Manner & Matter

The word “kinky” is an umbrella term used for what was considered out of the ordinary, with a specific sexual connotation. But let us also remember that kinkiness in the bedroom is gaining some amount of popularity, so there will come a time when it is just as ordinary as two people having “normal” intercourse. Yes, BDSM does fall under this category. Michael Castleman, an American health and sex journalist, compared BDSM to a child’s game of trust. According to him,

It’s a bonding experience when the falling player trusts the catcher enough to let go completely, and the catch happens as planned, both players experience a moment of exhilaration that’s difficult to duplicate any other way.

Honestly, it is something you wouldn’t do with someone unless you trust them enough. Since BDSM can get extremely rough at times, one should be able to trust their partner to stop when it gets to be a bit too much to handle (both mentally and physically). Again, it too is an umbrella term that is used for a lot of kinky activity, which does include both physical and mental challenges. While it is not for the faint of heart, BDSM can bring the best out of people, and, sometimes, the worst!

Fifty Shades of Grey... Has piqued a lot of interest!
Fifty Shades of Grey… Has piqued a lot of interest!

Let us here talk about two recurring terms in BDSM: the dominant (or top) provides stimulation and order, while the submissive (or bottom) is the one receiving it.

If at some point you do wish to try it out, and you have no clue about it, handcuffs (or any binding material) and paddles would be a good place to start.

The Flow State

The flow state is a psychological term for a state (or zone) in which a person who is carrying out an activity finds themselves to be fully immersed in a feeling of extreme focus, complete involvement, and extensive joy (in terms of performing the activity). Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who coined the term used the following analogy to explain the effect,

The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.

Kinky Sex and Achieving The Flow State

Not everything that looks extreme has to be!
Not everything that looks extreme has to be!

Studies have gone to prove that kinky sex, that is consensual, has a positive effect on the parties who involve themselves in it. The dominant usually experiences a flow state that is extremely conducive to creativity. This is a good thing for anyone who relies on the creative gene or new ideas for a living. Georg Friedrich Haas, a renowned composer and professor at Columbia, who went public about his love for BDSM and finding a partner who shares that love, had the following to say about how it affected him and his work,

I’m able to write more than I ever could before. And when I’m writing, I feel more concentrated, at ease, lighter than I used to.

This is extremely important, as people need to know that it is not just something that is merely a way for someone to assert power, but it is a means for being able to expand both your mind and body to its fullest capabilities. It is just like a game of trust. And when people hopefully understand this, the underlying stigma attached to the subject will not be a reason for people not to try it out if they want to.

When we realise what it can do for us, and how it might help us, one can only assume that more people will want in!

About the author

The Bodahub writing team brings you the best counter culture narratives from around the world.

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